Enlightened..

If your volume isn't up turn it up, this song made my day.. 1999 push play while you read!!

Today I saw this girl get beat up by some bully girl who was mad about some comment on some social network, the young girl cried because she just wanted to be left alone and didn't want to fight, I read that a lady was robbed and the very next day the guy who robbed her requested her on Facebook,  and then I also heard about the side chick who brought down the Clippers owner was talking about how ignorant black people can be on camera to be funny...all this is all a bunch of ridiculous BULLSHIT that our world/generation is so commonly dealing with..and as guilty as I am at sitting on instagram looking at all these people posting their fake lives and looking online for comments and articles written about Love and Hip Hop and their sex tapes, I'm beyond over it!!!! Makes me wish my mom didn't have difficulties getting pregnant so long and I would have maybe just missed the not so social-social network era!

But...in light of it being a beautiful first Sunday, the first Sunday of June, the month I was born. :) I woke up this morning and felt grateful. I woke up this morning got dressed and went to church, and was overtaken by this feeling of enlightenment.

For the past 6-7 years since I've graduated High School, outside of working hard to fulfill my desire of being one of the best college women's basketball players, and becoming pro and showing the world what I could do. I've been focused on being the prettiest girl, most wanted girl, getting the most attention without completely losing all self respect, my worries were..."Why isn't my hair just a bit more silky..I mean damn it, I know I have an African American mother but my father is Filipino and Indian, why aren't my curls a little more lose." "Girl, what pill can I take to make my boobs grow? or should I just go get the surgery?""Do I look too chunky?" "I just wanna gain 10 more pounds." "You think he loves me." "You think this will make him happy?" "Blah, blah, blah!!" Just a bunch of superficial unimportant nonsense!

I prayed more than I ever had up until that point leading up to my surgery, not just for me but for Erika, because if anything happened to her during surgery I don't know if I could quite live with myself.. and also for our families because the true love and support they show and have for Erika and I, they were worried sick! (I had a kidney transplant, my first cousin Erika donated to me April 1, 2014) Seeing someone like Erika be so selfless, and for people like me who need people like Erika, it wakes you up and truly changes your perspective.

But now.. after all that has happened since my surgery, the highs of that 3/4 year battle with my disease approaching a better place and the lows of LIFE that just happen..to me and to everyone at some point I've prayed more than I have at any point in my life! Not to just ask for a good recovery, the health and strength of my loved ones, and help and understanding with whatever else was happening and going to happen next in my life, but just to say Thank you! The next 2 months after surgery were an uphill journey for me, for what felt like 100 reasons at the time.. So many people reached out to me to say how much they were inspired and looking for advice or encouragement for their own life, I even spoke to a group of kids graduating High School and their families along with 40-50 additional people who were just in the building to encourage and motivate them..but in the back of my mind I'm thinking how can I encourage these kids or people when there are some days where I feel as though I'm not going to make it out myself...

But here I am, healthy and ready for what's next and for that all I can do is Thank God!

These last two months have shed light on me at whats important and although I still wake up everyday doing what I can to look good, because yes I still flip my hair and blow my kisses. I'm trying my hardest to focus on what's truly important in what life has to offer! Putting my phone down...sometimes...to enjoy life through more than a text and twitter! I want to enjoy my 20's since I only have 5 more years of them and wake up every morning and be able to somehow see my family, your parent's don't live forever unfortunately, love what I do, and love the people around me....Even with all the crap that happens in relationships, it's happened to all of us, men and women. Real love does exist, you just have to believe in it, I do.... and lastly, to never waste another day!

My advice to you, is to do the same!